Haphazard Halloween Handouts

Dylan Schnepf ’14

Staff Writer

What do you expect when you go trick or treating? Tricks? An old magician trying to fumble through his old routine? Heck no! You’re for sure got your eyes on the mouth-watering goodies. Now, I present to you a list of distributed delicacies that’ll be sure to raise an eyebrow. Lets start out with the classic surprise to put a smile on your face: FULL-SIZE CANDY BARS! Do you ever get really dehydrated and/or low blood sugar from all this walking around? That’s no problem because some people pass out Capri-Sun™ Juice Pouches at their pit stop. On the other side of that caring coin are those who care about your teeth, a.k.a. the friendly neighborhood oral surgeon, who subsequently passes out toothpaste and his buddies.  Then there are those that want your Halloween to be thoroughly theatrical, so they think that popcorn is the logical solution. When you think of Halloween treats the first words that come to your mind probably aren’t salty and savory, but rather sweet and scrumptious, so you might not think pretzels, but you won’t be disappointed. They keep the doctor away, and they probably will put a face of estrangement on the kiddies, were talking about apples, people. Finally, we remember those devious entrepreneurs who pass out candy, but there is a business card or a brochure attached in some manner. That’s some subliminal advertising if I’ve ever subconsciously seen it.  Have a Fantastical Halloween Everyone! Remember, this is the only night of the year that it is acceptable to take candy from strangers.